The mediation process at Affordable Mediation has always been about compassion and creating a fair solution for all involved. Doing so means we have to develop a high EQ — Emotional Quotient, or Emotional Intelligence. What does that mean? Let’s take a look.
What is EQ?
EQ, or Emotional Intelligence, is one’s ability to deal with other people while being sensitive to emotions. It includes being self-aware and having empathy. Lawyers and CEOs have long been known to have high IQs — Intelligence Quotient. Unfortunately, not a lot of importance has been given to EQ. Until now.
Why EQ is Important in Mediation
EQ is helpful in mediation because we’re dealing with real human beings with real emotions. Too often, divorce goes down the path of arguing facts, citing laws, arguing more facts, more laws, all to the detriment of the well-being of the couple and the family. Lawyers tend to believe that sound, rational arguments will win out. Well, how does that work when a couple has to decide who gets the family fur baby? Or when each spouse feels that the other did not appreciate his or her contributions and sacrifices during the marriage?
Concepts like fairness and compassion don’t often come up in the high-IQ, low-EQ battles of divorce law. However, in the mediation process, it’s all about fairness and compassion. That’s how we come to a reasonable agreement with which both parties can live, an agreement that doesn’t leave either spouse feeling like they’ve lost or won. Each spouse wants to be heard. Each has their own emotions, including fear and, usually, hurt.
That is why it’s important to work with a mediator who has a high EQ. EQ can be integrated into the mediation sessions. You need a mediator with high self-confidence, optimism, empathy, awareness and, just as importantly, self control.
Successful Divorce Mediation Depends on EQ
A divorce mediation session is different than a court battle. In mediation, we work towards a mutual agreement rather than winning a war. We’re all in the same room, no lawyers. That is why it’s so important for a mediator to understand the emotions involved and assist both parties in working through them when emotions run high — which they will. A mediator that lacks those skills can quickly watch a mediation come off the rails and end up in court, battling both each other and a sky-rocketing legal bill.
Test Our EQ
We’re here for you, to support both of you in getting through this emotionally intact, while reaching an agreement that is fair, compassionate, speedy and affordable. Call us today for a free consultation (602.622.2008), or download our Divorce Mediation Preparation Checklist.