What about the kids? That’s often the big, emotional question when a couple starts thinking about divorce. And it is a big question. The last thing parents want to do is hurt their kids. Parents want to remain committed to being good parents, even in the face of a separation. So, can kids actually benefit from a divorce?
There’s no getting around the fact that it will be hard for the kids to see their parents split up. There will be tough moments. But, in the end, there may actually be a few benefits to the kids:
- Kids become more resilient, tougher, having gone through the experience. They learn to adapt and stay strong.
- It can even improve a child’s relationship with each parent, as the time spent together is more precious.
- Children of divorce actually have increased empathy for others. This boosts their Emotional Intelligence.
- Kids of divorce often grow closer to their siblings.
Can divorce be positive for families?
Divorce can be positive for families, especially when there is high conflict between the parents. Resolving that conflict can have an overall positive effect on the kids and the family.
Divorce mediation is a great way to settle the conflict and get a divorce in a respectful, compassionate manner. That builds a healthier foundation for a family going forward and teaches the kids that these issues can be resolved fairly and respectfully.
Can children be happy after divorce?
Yes, children can be happy after a divorce. By communicating with your children during the divorce process and after, you can ensure that your kids have the best chance at living a happy life post-divorce. Explain to them that this is not their fault. Be open and honest about the divorce, in age appropriate terms they can understand. The best way to set your kids up for this happiness is to model that behavior for them. During the process and into your new, separate lives, find ways to share happy moments with your kids. They can learn to look for joy in their new lives.
Remember these key issues to helping your kids be happy after your divorce:
- Never disparage or bad-mouth your ex to your kids.
- Maintain schedules and routines for consistency.
- Use the separation from your spouse to work on your own self-improvement. That will have a positive impact on your child’s happiness.
- Don’t jump into a new marriage too soon, and don’t introduce the kids to new partners too soon. Remember, consistency is key.
- Create shared experiences, which in turn create positive memories.
How do children cope after divorce?
The best way to help children cope with divorce is communication. Talk with them about the divorce, both during and after. Ask them how they feel, what thoughts they are having. Remember to let them know that both parents still love and care about them. As you listen to them, be flexible to their needs. Adjust your schedule as needed. Work on building that stable post-divorce life for them.
Still Have Questions?
When divorce becomes the best option for a couple, it can actually benefit the kids to go through with it, especially if there’s any hostility and fighting. Kids are resilient and can take away some positive outcomes as a result. They can still live happy lives as part of each of your separate but connected co-parenting lives.
At Affordable Mediation, we have a background in psychology and counseling, as well as years of experience in working with couples to come to a fair and respectful divorce through mediation. We can help your family get through this as well.
Call us now to get answers to your questions. Call 602.622.2008.